First Cutting, Now “Self-Embedding?”

Whoa.
Never heard of “self-embedding” This is so sad and scary!
That statistic is just so sad (no other word comes to mind) — 13 to 24%??
Maybe - and this is just a thought - kids today are missing human interaction - with the internet/computers/gaming - parents are at work longer hours . . . after-school programs/sports are being cut due to the abyssmal economic situation. . .
Then throw in children being overperscribed drugs to treat ADD/depression . .

These kids want to feel something . . .and surely there are better ways . . . . .

As a mother to a toddler, I always wonder what it’s going to be like when he enters the tween and teen years… and though I know there’s plenty I can do to try to keep him on track, I worry about the things I can’t control. I guess that’s where I’ll cross my fingers and pray….

I don’t KL if you so my post on having an Eagles LIVE Blog this sunday for the eagles-giants game. Come on, it’s a big game and its on FOX. And I’m a 14 yr old myself and at my high school, YES, I see people all the time hurting themselves. Some people use pins and others stick the lead of pencils into themselves. Believe me, I’ve NEVER done anything like this!!!!

HP– I love your enthusiasm! I would TOTALLY live blog the Eagles this sunday only I’m not going to be able to watch the game on TV, I’ll be listening on the radio in the car… I PROMISE we will blog a game, the season ain’t over yet….
And thanks for weighing in on the embedding phenomenon, I can’t believe it’s really happening! Hey– why not get your classmates to contribute to the site on some of the topics… I’d love to hear what your age group has to say. It helps us older folks understand you better..

Mace, Chris, NMT– great hearing your points of view, too

As my second job, I’m a Trivia Host and seeing this frightening topic here (I’m a father of 4-Boy’s; 3 being Triplets) provides me a great segue into this Saturday’s event: http://www.onechildsaved.com/events.html

Over $5000.00 was raised last year for Don Tollefson (Fox Sportscaster) and his One Child Saved – Winning Ways Organization! Let’s be a part of the Solution folks! If you can make it …

I know,I know,the economy,Obama,O.J.,Phillies,Eagles,Gov.Rendell,etc..

Chicken,vegetables,and Mac-n-cheese. Everything went well except the Mac-n-cheese. I think my kids took one look,and humored me with a half a spoonful (not sure if they actually ate it) and rated it as a C-! My two Beagles who would eat almost anything ,saw the meal and ran out the back door to chase what I guess was an INVISIBLE cat! I could NEVER get that dish right, and I know kids love it. I still have some left,so I guess I’ll go out and putty some of the cracks in my cement porch with it! Hey I tried!lol!

HI, HP TOLD ME TO CHECK THIS OUT

nice to be here

Casy, I’m sure there are a lot of people (including me!) who are concerned about you and care about your well being…. thanks for being so honest, and for having the courage to speak up and make choices like you’ve made. I’m very proud of you and happy for you… Kerri-Lee

I am 18 and I have cut too, it’s just the way things are. Suicide really isn’t any higher since people including me have started cutting. It’s a way to help me get over something, if anything it helps keep suacide away. Mayby i could find other ways to feel better but it’s what works for me. Almost all my friends cut, i know allot of kids who do. I think the statistics are probly higher than that.

I never really gave much though to cutting until my little cousin started cutting. I am 18 and she will be 13 soon. She is like a sister to me and i want to help her. I am afraid it will become more serious as time goes on. She has talked to me about it but i don’t know what to say i am afraid of pushing her away and i can’t tell her mom or she won’t trust me anymore. She has also brought up feelings of suicide. I am deeply worried please help me! Any advice would help!

So are you saying i should tell her mom?

Hi. My name’s Clarissa im 14 , and i have cut before too. it’s like a way of letting everything out, when you cut the only things that are going through your mind are “no one cares, bet —— would be happy to know that I’m hurting myself because of what their saying about me.”or its about things at home, like abuse, or feeling like no one at home is their for you. having no one to talk to is the BIGGEST problem i’ve had, but sense i’ve have my boyfriend i’ve been able to talk to someone who’s not gonna judge me about how i feel or what I’m doing he along with my Bff Alisha are just worried that I’m gonna go back to what i used to do when i don’t have anyone to talk to. thats why i started, because of not having anyone to talk to when i was being bullied, and feeling like no one care’s about you anymore is the scariest thing in the world feeling like no one care’s is like saying you don’t matter to the world your no longer a person.

cutting is fun!

WOW— kids are growing up way too fast and I don’t mean that in a good way. It blows my mind that a 14 year old today in our society can have so much hurt and pain and no way to cope.

This whole topic makes me totally nosh. I wish I could help.

I’m a cutter. I wish I had an explaination. I’ve been depressed for over a year now. The stats don’t even tell half of the story, I know so many people like me who have cut, and attempted suicide. Its a release. We cut, and the pain we are feeling inside is somehow released. it seems crazy, but its true. You’re in so much pain, so much self hatred, that the pain of cutting is nothing compared to what you feel inside. You hate yourself so much, that you want to hurt yourself so bad, punish yourself for being you. and it seems like there is no escape other then suicide. I’ve saved at least two of my friends from this, thank the Lord. but I can help them, but I can’t help myself. Its a downward spiral into nothingness. no other colour then black. nothing. its awful.

self embedding? tried it a bit, always removed the stuff though. Pins, pencil lead… and I’d tear off the metal part of the top of a pencil and embed that too. but it never stayed.

what a messed up world this is, eh?

though about the theory of computers, and that stuff causing this, less human interaction… maybe you have a point. but I also know, thats not all true. this is my second round of depression, I first had it when I was 9, I’m now 17. there doens’t have to be a cause if its in your genetics. unfortunately thats me. yay not

I just hope that anyone else thats struggling with this gets help. I am, its good, but getting counselling isn’t everything. you have to want to get better. but this is insane, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone

I know it has been a while since this was last commented and over a year since posted but I thougth I would share a little bit about my experiences with cutting. The topics that i discuss are by no means the way everyone see them and in no way am I saying everyone that cuts feels the same way I do. So take what I say in a general maner and just try to get some insight on the subject. I am currently 22 and still cut on occasion but for different reasons which I will get into later.

I started cutting in middle school, aproximately age 13 or 14, and it was caused by the stress and a very strict household. The cuts were very small and very light but it was enough to get out what I needed. This got progressivly worse untill I moved out slightly over 2 years ago. The people are right, cutting is most likely more than the quoted 24 percent. I knew of a around 7 or 8 people growing up and I lived in a fairly small town (aprox 2500 people) with a rather small graduating class (46). That is who I knew cut themselves. There are so many forms of self harm and the willingness of people to forfit information about themselves on the subject it makes it hard to know the true percentage, but I know that with as many people that I KNEW cut that it most likely is more. I was very cautious about my parents finding out and they didn’t find out untill I was several years older probably 17 or so. I rarely cut in a spot that was visible without being in my underwear, upper thigh, shoulders, chest, feet. It wasn’t about attention for me it was about the release.

Emotionally it does feel like there is something lifted off your mind, a release of emotional pain. The loss of blood was like letting out some of the pain. But in reality it is your body dealing physically with the trauma. It releases chemicals into your brain, mainly endorphins and adrenaline. Its the same rush you get when you are happy naturally. You see a good friend you haven’t seen in a while, the joy of that moment is caused by the release of endorphins, it is the same chemical that cutting releases. This release is what got me hooked.

It does hurt to some degree but I used very sharp blades and always preped well. It became a ritual and alot of cutters are similar in their ritualistic behavior. If it isn’t a certain way they won’t do it. I sat on my bed, back against the wall, razors on my left, alcohol on the right with paper towels. I’d put on my favorite cd at the time and begin.

Currently I do cut on occasion. Maybe once every month or so nothing big. But now that I’m out of my parents house alot of my emotional problems are gone and I no longer take anti-depressants or any other medication. But the cutting continues because of the rush that it provides. Like I mentioned earlier it releases endorphins and adrenaline and now that I am naturally happy the addition of these chemicals gives me an enhanced state that I really can’t get any other way.

I would now like to address some points mentioned my others in earlier posts.

Lack of interaction. The thing about computers and lack of interaction mentioned could be partially true for some but for the most part people around my age and below are the most interconnected people to date. The internet, blogging, instant messaging, myspace, facebook, twitter, xanga, cell phones, texting, skype, the list goes on and on and on. For most people there is always someone to talk to. I’m not saying its easy to talk to someone about cutting or self harm but there is always a person there to talk about your frustrations.

No way to cope. This is a way to cope, granted a poor one. From what I’ve read and experinced most people stop cutting not long ofter high school. Learning new ways to cope is a way of life, if you can’t cope you can’t live. Like I said cutting is a poor coping mechanisim but is is a one, that helps people deal with stress and emotional pain.

Suicide and serious bodily harm. Its not about suicide for most people. Cutting is about the release of emotional pain not removal from existance. The cuts are rarely deep enough to cause serious harm, much less death. I had suicidal thoughts but I would never do it by cutting myself. A gunshot is the quickest, pills are the easiest, dying of bloodloss is horribly painfull and usually the first cut doesn’t do it. You have to cut yourself very severly to die from it. I cut an artery once from an unrelated accident, I bleed alot but I was in no danger of dying.

Parents don’t pay attention. I know this is more of an adult blog but for anyone who this that parents don’t notice, they do. You can lie about it you can hide it but they find out. I knew that my parents knew before they “found out”, you can’t expect them to beleive the horrible lies you come up with to cover. They may act like they believe you but they don’t. Barbed wire, nails, sheet metal, hooks, whatever it is you blame it on it doesn’t look the same and anyone who has seen a razor or sharp knife cut knows what it looks like.

I’m 18 and a college student. My senior year was the best year of HS but it’s also the year I started cutting. I’m agreeing with the idea that a lot of teens, and people in general who cause bodily harm on themselves lack and long for human contact. When I went to school everyday, I felt happy and awesome and really enjoyed myself, then I would go home to an empty house with nothing to do, and no one to talk to. I wasn’t the type to hang out with friends outside of school. I felt lonely and depressed, and I would cut while everyone was away- sometimes when they were home. It got worse in the summer, when I didn’t have a job or a car, and had dropped all my friends from school except one. Now that I’m in college I thought I would stop cutting, but it doesn’t seem I’m going to stop anytime soon. I know it’s my choice what I do, but depression is something that can take over your entire life, leaving you in a self-pitying, self-hating rut. I know I can get over this, because this is also my second round through depression. It’s just very difficult. My sister and parents already know, and have seen the scars on my wrists. They freaked out at first, but now I think they’ve just become used to it, or have stopped paying attention because they THINK I’ve stopped… I don’t think it’s possible they haven’t seen the new cuts… Anyway I’m not one to cut because I feel any sort of release. I do it when I’m bored, when I’m frustrated… I do it when I feel like no one is in the mood to listen- I live with a bunch of talkers who interrupt and won’t let you finish when you try to explain something. I just want them to listen and comfort me, not threaten and become hysterical and walk away in disappointment. I just want them to sit and listen to me for a while, and be there. So… I’m posting this because I feel like since I’m one of the “cutters,” maybe what I’ve said is helpful information- to whoever. Thanks for reading, and I appreciate that you guys care and want to help, I really do and I think others who have read these posts and have problems of their own appreciate it too.

I’m 16, I can say from personal experience that cutting does NOT help anything at all. It only makes the emotional pain and depression worse. Two of my best friends cut, and now one of those friendships is no more because I begged him to stop. I finally told an adult I trust, and that friend has barely talked to me sense. The other friend that was cutting was more open minded, and she quit. But now I feel like such a hypocrite and a failure to them because I cut now. And now, I feel like if I tell anyone, the feelings of loneliness, sadness, and everything else will just get worse. So, I cut. But I do NOT have a death wish. Even though most adults think teens that cut have a death wish, most do not. Some just want to feel loved and accepted.

This is very scary. I am a stay at home mom w/2 boys. A toddler and a teen. I have been having trouble with my teenager w/cutting. Between school pressure and girls he just doesn’t cope well w/stress or rejection. I guess I can be grateful that he hasn’t tried embedding. OMG & Yes, I would know. Since I discovered his cutting habit I check him regularly. We are getting him help but it is still so scary.

hi im 25 and ive self harm since i was nine and your article is ignorant and trivializing the pain that cause people to self harm. if people really are worried about their children they should go and talk to self harmer them selves and ask for their advice on how to cope with these situation (recover your life is a very good self help fourm and many people on there would be glad to help parents support there children throught their pain) , acting like their children are just being silly teenagers is going to make the situation worst. people don’t self harm to increases social interaction. trust me when i say it doesn’t and it not the cool thing to do it children do get bullied for it. if someone is self harming then there is alot of pain on the inside, try listening to the child instead of trivialising their feeling, it hard being a child in today society there is a lot of pressure to succeed and get a great education and not enough about the child developing own self awareness and self image.
Don’t compare your child to yourselfs you can’t imagine what it was like for them growing in to adults in this time and much as they can’t see what it was like for you growning up. yes i know everyone has been teenagers and we all been through it but can you tell me were you always pushed to suceed get straight A’s, did you have 2 hours of home work at night at the very least were you told throught out your time from just starting at school till when you leave that you are examed in some form or another that your not meeting everyone expectation, on top of these their is a pressure of peers to socialise and such, it isn’t about the lack of peer interaction but a lack of parental guidence and support from adults. Yes i did just some of the blame on parents and adults, from all the self harmer i have met (i’ve been self harming for 16 years i’m bound meet some ) a lack of support from adults and the fact that their feeling are dismissed are a factor in there self harm. praise there achievements more and give them self worth

as for me as i meantion i’ve self harmed for 16 years and trust me when i say i tried alot of ways to cope with pain and to be honest none help quiet as well as self harm. don’t get me wrong i don’t want to self harm and i don’t want any one else to self harm either. but it a very hard habit to stop it’s harder than stoping smoking trust me quiting smoking is easy in comparsion (i stop smoking but i find i very hard to stop self harming) i did stop cutting for 4 years but i can tell you there wasn’t 1 day i didn’t think about it and after 4 years i started again and this is an issuse i will have for the rest of my life. it may be that they can change to different coping mechanism with help and support but it will be hard it a very addictive habit. i find i find it funny that it is more socially aceptable to smoke, drink of even illegal drugs than to self harm as they all kill more people every year than self harm accidents do and self harm only harms limbs where the others harm internal organs which one is worst?. being a self harmer doesn’t mean that they will try to commit suicide

listen, support and give praise for the small goals the harder goal will be easier to achieve

sick fckers.!!

There’s no Kerri-Lee video with this story; this story really, really needs a video with Kerri-Lee….

hey! its a way to cope, dont judge us. its not anyones fault but our own, n we cant help it. i know when i cut i have feel guilty but happy at the same time…so many mixed emotions…thts rly all i can say. just figure it out urselves.

and dru,

“it hard being a child in today society there is a lot of pressure to succeed and get a great education and not enough about the child developing own self awareness and self image.”

you are totally right.
Btw I’m 18 and I’ve been cutting since i was around about 13. I tried to stop cutting for a while. I think i managed not to cut for a while. It may have been a year. It may have only been a few months. I don’t really remember. I’ve been cutting A LOT in the past couple months and I’m not quite sure why… but i do know that my boyfriend and i are trying to help each other quit cutting.
And I’m sorry for your addiction.

For anyone reading who is a cutter and wants to stop cutting:
ask yourself why you are cutting in the first place, why it feels good or IF it feels good.

I wish it were as simple as being happy or being sad. Then i wouldn’t think of cutting all the time. I think of cutting when I’m in the BEST mood possible. I also think of cutting when I’m depressed. But for some people maybe it IS a simple matter.
Good luck to you.

kids cut them selves mostly because no 1 is there 4 them im 15 nd im always cutting my selfe i guess is cuz i just like how it fells nd i love it when i start bleeding i know its not normal but thats just me..