Kerri-Lee, HOTT Nanny, and JGT Offer Up their Least Favorite Songs of All-Time

I love Too Sexy - it’s corny I guess that’s why I love it!! LOL

Kerri-Lee,
Do you go to many sporting events? I can not stand the “Everybody Clap Your Hands” (not sure if that is the real name)song. I think most fans do not need prompting to cheer at a game. Plus it is just plain annoying. Sorry to come off a little bitter in this post. I am normally a positive person, but the list is the Terrible Ten.

Anything by Aerosmith, but especially their ballads (”I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing” is the prime example). Bonus hate points for Steven Tyler for looking older than Mick Jagger. Hey, the poor man’s Rolling Stones are even less attractive than the original!

Anything by Billy Joel. A Joel song is okay and kinda catchy the first time you hear it. The second or third time, it starts to wear on you. By the 10th time you hear it, you’re ready to invent a time machine to go back in time and prevent Billy Joel from ever writing “Still Rock and Roll To Me.”

Any of the awful way-too-long classic rock songs — “Stairway to Heaven” (it suffers from being overplayed, and is not one of Zep’s stronger songs to boot), “American Pie” (anything by the Big Bopper, incidentally), “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” (where do I start?), “Layla” (see: Stairway to Heaven), “Freebird” (and “Sweet Home Alabama,” too). A special on-its-own mention for “Another Brick in the Wall” by sacred cows Pink Floyd, a bunch of ultra-talented musicians who got together to make awful, awful music. “Hey Jude” just narrowly misses the list.

Pretty much anything by the Chili Peppers if you’re over the age of 17, though I’d still like that “Other Side” song if I heard it again.

About 98% of Hole’s catalog. “Violet” (”Go on take everything,” etc.) is pretty good, but Hole loses points for (1) Courtney Love and (2) every girlfriend who’s ever explained to me in detail how Pretty on the Inside was outselling Bleach ’til Nirvana made it big.

There was this song called “New Age Girl” on the radio in the mid-1990s (one of those alternapop songs like Toadies, Toad the West Sprocket and other toad-related bands) that I am still too filled with rage about how awful it was to even look up anything about it. (If you’ve forgotten it, the song had the line, “She don’t eat meat/ but she sure likes the bone.” Even in seventh grade I found this stupid.)

Special hatred goes to Everclear, for both “A.M. Radio” (possibly the worst lyrics of all time) and for every single one of their songs being the same dámn thing.

“Last Kiss,” by whoever is covering it to get the #1 spot in the Billboard Top 100 this decade. Any song that rhymes good with world should NOT be on the radio. I don’t care if you donated all the profits to Kosovo refugees, Pearl Jam, you shouldn’t have released that song. (Incidentally, the band did donate all the profits to Kosovo refugees. Still not okay.) Anything done by Pearl Jam post-Yield would probably be on my list, too.

I shouldn’t even really need to say it, but really: Anything by any of those pop-punk/pop-emo/pop-whatever bands that are just a slightly tweaked version of Blink 182 (this includes any of those bands with former Blink members in them). Blink kinda sucked, too, but at least “Dammit” was pretty good and they were funny. As with the Chili Peppers, this can be forgiven if you’re 17 or younger and/or looking to hookup with people 17 or under. That second one might not be forgiven by the law, though, so your mileage my vary.

Anything by Weezer after the first two albums (with bonus hate points for people clamoring about how great “Pork and Beans” is). And, really, those first two albums are decent, not great. Loses points for an awful live show when I saw them in 2001.

This is getting easy. Let’s get back to the sacred cows, shall we? Most of Madonna’s catalog. Definitely everything since 1994 or so. And anything the Rolling Stones have done since… hmm. Some date in the 80s, I guess. Maybe the 1970s.

“Creep” by Radiohead. Yes, Radiohead is super awesome and everyone loves them, myself included; they’re my second-favorite band ever. But “Creep” is both overplayed and not very good, especially compared to the band’s later work.

Anything by Tool, who makes A Perfect Circle palatable.

Anything by Richie Havens. I don’t know who he is, but I’m in a hateful mood right now and I just got a press release about his new album. I don’t know why record companies send me releases, but that’s beside the point. The release contains this sentence: “For over three decades, Richie has used his music to convey messages of brotherhood and personal freedom.” Richie Havens could be as good as Elvis and I’d probably still hate him for that sentence. (And I love personal freedom, too; witness my columns about drugs.)

Speaking of drugs, any song about getting high is no doubt awful. And anything by Sublime is awful (though the singles are their worst songs, and overplayed; this is more of a ‘backlash’ hate, which almost reminds me to bring up Dave Matthews and Phish). Kurt Cobain’s death made him a rock legend, which was okay because he wrote great lyrics and was in an excellent band, two things that don’t apply to the glorified lead singer of Sublime, whoever he is.

Okay, that’s enough. I guess that’s more than 10, but I hate a lot of music.

Should be “Toad the Wet Sprocket.” Feel free to point out any other typos.

Kerri-Lee! Shame on you… Hating on songs about sex, dancing, music and love??? Ouch!

Hi Matt, and Deck! Don’t want you two to feel left out. Hey, if you’re reading this, leave your computer “handle” and comment, so i know you’ve been here. Lots of new “faces” lately, love it… KL

I’m on facebook, interested in talking to me?

Hi Kerri-Lee. It’s Matt. Under the category of “I am an idiot” I did not think my real name would be captured. So here is my computer handle. By the way.. Happy Canada Day!

Solution to terrible ten song issues…

listen to talk radio!!!

of course, you will still have the urge to break things…

but for different reasons…

Comment by Kerri-Lee on 30 June 2008:

LOL Mark…
Johnny– now that we’re “friended” on facebook, where should we chat? Here, or there?

Comment by Daphne on 30 June 2008:

I’m on facebook, interested in talking to me?

Comment by Rich on 30 June 2008:

I think I have a Facebook somewhere. I should go back and look at it…

Figures .. I finally get settled on here and they are moving around again …

K yet another annoying song …

Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby …

Sorry V.I. but you deserve a place among the terrible 10 …

Oops - I thought that was Robin Williams …

Susan– I hate that one too!!!! I wonder if we “like” the same songs since our “hate” list is the same LOL

Comment by Daphne on 30 June 2008:

I’m on facebook, interested in talking to me?

Why shore ! But I’m not on facebook.

How’s things on your side of the tree ?

Mortenson ?

Morganthau ?

Mahocalocaluau ? (which is Polynesian for “you’re fly is open” )

And why do they call it a fly anyway ?

Goodtimes ! Where ARE ya ?

This is your bread and butter.

This is your meat and potatoes.

This is your SCHTICK !

I can’t HEAR you ! Sound off like you GOT a keyboard !

Moore ?

Moors ?

Moops ?

She does and that is so cool. that is why we love her. K-L, I really hope you have fun on vacation, but check in at least once a day, ok?

Welcome back, Smash-Lee.

I misplaced my codebook again.

What island was it , again, exactly ?

Long Island ? Treasure Island ? Alcatraz ?

Dharma ? As in “go ahead, what’s D harm a” ?